I am not well and have not been for years! But my husbands many illnesses are slowly driving me to the bottom of a bottomless cavern of dispair.
Let's see, he has stage 3 kidney disease, diabetes and aortic stenosis. He has had a quadruple bi-pass and that was in 2001. He nearly died then as he had a bleeder and they had to go back in the same day e had the first surgery and fix him again. He was in ICU from Monday through late Thrusday and then transferred to a one. We thought wow, this is great. As badk as he looked and he looked gray, he was at least one step closer to getting home. They came in to give him another blood transfusion and right after they removed it and left the room he started to turn white and shaking like mad. I scream we need a nurse in room whatever it was STAT and I had nearly a hospital of nurses in that room and then they Physicians assistant came in and asked me what I saw happen and ordered stuff for Tim. I explaned what I saw and Tim tried weakly to tell him the same thing and he told us that is was classic for a reaction to a blood transfusion and that there had to be something in that particular donor lbood that Tim was allergic too. He went so far as to say that if I had not been in the room and actedd so quickly Tim could have gone into shock and then death was imminent. So for those of you who never knew this verify it and never walk out of a room where your loved one is getting a transfusion . Did I wake some of you up with this warning, well, I hope so, as it has me scared to freakening death.
Why did I know what to do, I will never know but to say that God provided me with the strength when I needed it. Makes you wonder why so many people die and the diagnosis will be complications from surgery and the family is grieving so badly that they never really get an answer. My husband had to have 9 pints of whole blood and 3 pints of plasma after those 2 surgeries in one day so I was 3 times as afraid. Pray, you bet, I did. Talk to God, certainly and constantly. I know I don't have to say it's me as he knows who it is before I open my mouth.
Ok, that is where my journey to insanity began or at least I think that is where it started, but , wait, it might go back to when my tall robust, handsome Daddy had a heart attack on a Sunday after he played a round of golf and hit his first and only whole in one and he had a heart attack and would nto let my Mom call the doctor. He also did something so stupid that it made me ill. He refused to let my Mom turn the Ac unit on which would have helped him breathe better and finally after many phone calls between my Mom and I she finally gave me permission to come over to talk to him. Tim and I got a sitter and ran out to South Lorain, OH to see what we could do. I looked at him and my Daddy was pretty dam pale and his skin was clammy and he complained of a pain that was the worst he had ever had in his life. So, I sat down in the cahir by is bed and cajoled him into letting me call our Dr. and he agreed. The doc arrived in about 20 minutes and he said it looked like my suspicions were correct and Daddy had a heart attack. So, he called an ambulance and we followed them to the hospital and I called my married borhter as I knew he would want to know and they got her Mom to watch her kids and they met us at the hospital. Daddy was put in the cardiac intensive care unit and at that time it was supposedly the best in Lorain County. Well, on Monday, they told Mom and I that Daddy had indeed had a heart attack but that if all went well, he might be home in 6 weeks time and that he would probably be alright. Well, they lied! the very next day he was dead. Again, I can nto stress, do not smoke and if you do STOP.
In January, Daddy needed to have a tooth pulled and as I was the only driver available I took him to the oral surgeons office in Elyria, OH, and waited and pretty soon he came out and said we had to go home. I said, ok, when we got in my car, I said I am not moving this car until you tell me why they would not pull your tooth and he said, because my dam blood pressure was to high. He said they told him to go straight to the hospital at Elyria Memorial and I started to drive there. But he siad if you go there I will not get out and go in or I will get out and call at cab. Stubborn fool. So, I cried but drov ehim home and woudl ask him and make him mad nearly weekly about let's go to the doctor's or had he been to the doctor's and it was always he was gonna do it next week. Next week alwas came and went and he did not do it.
Daddy never made it to the docotr's. His sister, his favorite sister, was to have come to Ohio for 2 weeks in July and she had a stroke the night before she was to board the plane and it was so bad the doctors asked the family in Memphis to get the rest of us together as she was not expected to live. So on Sunday we all drove to Memphis. My husband and I made it intot the hospital parking garage first and I got chosen to go in at the next visiting session which was 2 people( only) every hour for 16 min. So, I looked and saw my Great aunt sitting there and looked at her and held out my hand and said want to go with me? She said yes, and she and I were told we could talk to my wonderful Aunt Maybelle and no one really knew what the person who was so ill could hear. So I started talking to her about getting us all to Memphis when she was supposed to be in Ohio.
Told her how we had just rushed ourselved ragged getting there and the very least she could do was wake up and get out of that bed and cook us some of her famous Ravioli. Told her Daddy and Momma would be in to see her in a few ininutes. My Great Aunt Lena, said Mammie Belle, now, you need too look at Miss Sharon here all these miles to see you. She said do you hear us and I said if you can hear me try to squeeze my hand and she did and we reported it to the doctor and he said oh it was just a nervous reflex and I said, well, sure seemed right to me. sure enough, she did not do it again.
we stayed in Memphis mostly at the hospital for nearly a week and she showed no moe response. The only thing was when I was with her and talking to her as though she could hear me and answer me, her blood pressure would go up and her vitals would improve.
We arrived home worried as heck about her and prayed our knees off. Then, the news was she is staying the same and may never wake-up to where she once was. We never lost hope but knew that she was in a good hospital and if there was anything that could bring her back to us whole it would be prayer.
that was July 15th that she had her stoke and in the next 2 weeks we all just lived in la-la land. Nothing more we could do.
Then, on August 2nd, my big robust father played his last round of golf he would ever play. He would be dead 2 days later and she never could be told until after my birthday in October and then the doctors felt she needed to be told as she kept asking for him. she said where is Mike and why isn't he here?
I saved the letter she wrote after she was told with her doctor present. She said, she could not beleive we had such a tragedy and was so sorry she could not be there for me. How wonderful of her to be so unselfish as to think of all of us first. As her strength increased which it did day by day, she was back on her feet in 6 months and walking and also using her wheel chair to go out but she was back and we talked nearly daily. what wonderful fun we had. She would talk to my children and tell them good night. By the following October, she arrived a whole year and a few months late but she flew into Cleveland Airport. She was totally incontinent and no one told us. She had soaked through her clothing and I saw her coat was wringing wet and grabbed an old blanket I kept in the car for her to put around her as I politely told her that it was so much colder in Ohio than Memphis and I was taking good care of her. When she got to our house she changed every single bit of clothing and I washed it all and she was good as new. She said she did not realize it but must have sat in something on the plane. I pretended that all was well. I warned my Mom about it and put plastic under my throws on the couches. Mom forgot and when she went there, she had a major disaster.
Mother was real angry and they had words and I went and picked her up and brought her back to our house as though I had not heard a thing about their battle. she was very quiet and said she seemed to be having a problem and I said, I seem to have a real problem and I said well we can take care of it and so I bought the plastic covers with paper on them and also a huge mattress cover and got her some adult diapers and while she hated them she was glad not to be embarassed. She said wow, I feel like a new woman. so, she went home and they got a call telling them what brand to buy and that she was fine with them too.
boy, there were a whole bunch of older folks than me and some younger too and not one of them could do anymore than go Poor thing, Hell she didn't want to be a poor thing but wanted to be welcomed by them and they avoided having her in their homes because they refused to address the issue. She lived until just after her birthday in May of 1974 and passed away in her sleep. How sad to think she is gone. Daddy first and she close behind by 4 years. Imagine the doctors gave up on her and she fooled them all. When she squeezed my hand that day, I knew she was not gone very far and would make it back. Medicine is not an exact science and there is just so much guess work. She outlived their great Aunt who was not to die until the late 70's and we could hardly believe that she was still around all those years later.
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